No Destination

Do you sometimes feel invisible? Unimportant? Unneeded? 

Sometimes I do. When that occurs, I just remind myself that I somehow make an impact. It might not have been revealed yet. If I die without doing anything big, at least I know I somehow changed the world, even if only a tiny bit.

I also sometimes feel at a loss of what to do. I mean, how am I supposed to go about solving a certain problem? I often feel like I'm dancing inside of a minefield. One misstep and... kabloey. I have to decide whether to take a risk. I also have to imagine every possibility, every angle. 

The problem with that is actually kind of weird. I'm no computer. To be able to predict every possibility, I would need to know every thing about everyone. EVERYTHING is a factor.

Unfortunately, running like that is the only way to achieve perfection. And it is completely impossible to run like that, so there is no such thing as perfection.

One of my very favorite poems (disregarding Casey At The Bat and My Captain, My Captain) is by Jack Prelutsky. It's called A Dizzy Little Duzzle.

It goes like this.

I'm a dizzy little duzzle and I do the best I can as I aimlessly meander with no purpose and no plan I don't pay the least attention as I wander out and in so I haven't any notion of a single place I've been for a while I may go straighter than a train upon a track then for no apparent reason change my course and double back my approach is so haphazard I am bound to lose my way as my random transmigration takes me hopelessly astray I may amble in a circle make an unexpected turn and my final destination is of simply no concern yet I always seem to manage to arrive where I began though I'm but a dizzy little duzzle with no purpose and no plan.

Aside from the obvious lack of punctuation, this poem hits my heart. It may have hit yours, too. It describes a duzzle (whatever that is) who spins around with uncertainty that morphs into unconcern.

Do you ever feel like this? You aimlessly meander around, trying to find your way, until you finally give in.You just wander around without care in the world. Well, you aren't necessarily in a minority. Everyone feels like this occasionally. It's a terrible feeling. It's one I'm going through right now. I don't know where to go, how to get there, what to do there, why I'm still here.

It's a crazy feeling. It's one I loathe. But it's combat-able.